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HINTS FOR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS
AT TIMES OF GRIEF
- Encourage the survivor to talk about their loss.
- Accept that the survivor may not want to talk about their loss.
- Assure the survivor of your support and that their grief is okay.
- Be aware the men and women often grieve very differently. Women tend to seek support and discuss their feelings more openly. Men are more likely to seek solitude or become involved in activities so they can, "do something" with their grief.
- Take care of yourself. Maintain your sources of support and renewing activities. Find outlets to express feelings that your do not want to express to the survivor. Martyrdom is no service to the bereaved.
- Be aware that anniversaries, significant milestones for the deceased, and expected or unexpected news related to the deceased often trigger renewed acute grieving.
- Encourage the survivor to seek professional help if their grief causes continuing major disruption in their personal or work lives. Seek help yourself if you are deeply impacted.
- DON'T:
- Try to explain the loss to the survivor.
- Tell the survivor that you know how he or she feels.
- Expect the survivor to act or feel the way you believe they should act or feel.
- Be afraid to say nothing. Sometimes just being present is enough.
- Feel responsible for making things okay.
- Be afraid to share your own feelings of sadness and loss.
- Ignore your own feelings of loss.
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